Zoinks.

This beanie says what everyone’s thinking — “Stoned” — in retro, Saturday morning cartoon lettering that looks like it wandered out of a mystery van and into a philosophy class.

It’s bold, soft, and just the right kind of absurd. Whether you’re actually high or just spiritually elevated, this hat brings cozy warmth and cartoon logic to your wardrobe. Pair it with a deep thought, a foggy morning, or a bag of off-brand cereal at 2AM.

Playful. Blunt. Slightly haunted. Just like you.